海绵

差不多三个月前写了这篇文章，忘了 upload 去 blog，对不起！Enjoy～     

          望着窗外蓝色的天空和一片片的白云，心里想着：“在飞机上坐了 16小时还得坐多9小时才会抵达目的地，这段时间该怎么过呢？距离上一次投稿次序单也有好一段时间了，不如写文章吧！把心中的感触化成文字与晋光的弟兄姐妹共勉励。”

孩子趁着这次寒假 24天假期回到马来西亚与亲朋好友相聚。虽然以低调和惊喜的方式返乡，但每当看见大家惊讶却热诚的迎接和关心，心中总是感到无比喜乐与温馨，甚至会不时赞叹 “This is where I truly belong!”（我真正属于这地！）。家、母堂，和祖国所提供的归宿感的确是无法被取代的，相信每位在外的游子都认同。

记得当初首次离家时还拍了屋子的外观，深知下一次回来得在好一段时间过后，心想着自己的房间在今天后又要空着几个月甚至一年多的时间。但从另一方面来看，我在古晋的这段期间慕迪学院宿舍里属于我的床铺和书桌也是空的啊！人真的很矛盾，虽然自己也希望假期可以更长一点，但心里也知道天天颓废并且与朋友出去吃喝玩乐的日子总得结束，总得回到在神学院装备读书的生活。

这次回来也特别跟 96’年的朋友们在少团营会留下了许多美好的回忆。看着大家如何从主日学开始认识和混着玩、长大后渐渐在教会开始服事、在少团共同参与事工，至今所有人都朝各自的理想在世界各地深造，感触甚多。小弟总相信，我们这群人的相遇绝对不是偶然的，而是上帝独特的安排，自己也从他们身上学习很多。真诚关心别人、做事细心和积极、谦卑服事的态度，这些都是他们的优点与强项，成了笔者个人学习的榜样。

人生不正是如此吗？在不同的人生阶段，不同的人加入和离开我们的生活圈子，最重要的是我们可以从他们身上学习什么！又或者透过他们的人生，神如何让你我看见他们犯下的错进而警惕自己不重犯他们的失误。人会离开，但他们所留下的影响与改变是无法轻易被挪去或无视的。上帝把不同的人放在我们身边必定有祂美好的旨意。学习爱那可爱甚至不可爱的人，相信他们身上一定有许多我们可以学习的优点。

加拉太书5：22，“圣灵所结的果子就是仁爱、喜乐、和平、忍耐、恩赐、良善、信实、温柔、节制”。在教会学习某位姐妹爱心的服事、在家学习父亲井然有序的行事方式、在公司学习同事们彼此关心的态度。但愿你我的生命都能像个海绵，从别人那里不断吸取各方面的经验和知识，在有需要的时候也能把 ‘水’ 挤出来让别人来领受，在主里彼此造就，这是何等美的事！也希望我们不单在人生经验，更能在属灵生命上有长进，同心合一引人归主，扩展基督的国度，复兴我们的教会！

A reproducing Church

           Churches are apathetic to reproduction. According to a recent poll done by Holy Soup on regular church goers, only fifty-one percent of people attend church to worship God. The other half shows up at church on Sunday mornings mostly out of obligation. Some of them go to feel better or to be with friends (Schultz). If people who attend church regularly have already lost interest to go church and their passion for Christ, how are they suppose to make the church a more appealing place to the public and invite them to church? The church is meant to reproduce. As the body of Christ, Christians should work together in evangelizing to the world, thus expanding the kingdom of God.

            The first reason for churches to reproduce is because the number of churches has decreased yearly. Based on statistics provided by Church Leadership on churches in America, more than four thousand churches close their doors every year, compared to just over a thousand new church starts (Krejcir)! If this staggering figure continues, in less than one hundred year all the churches in the United States will close down.

Moreover, our nation’s population is increasing every year from high birth rates and immigrants from around the world. Therefore, to fit the needs of people in this country, to respond to their cry, every Christian ought to participate and contribute to church growth to transform this world.  

            Furthermore, the reason for the deterioration in church growth is simply because the church itself has lost its attractiveness to the unsaved. Over the years, the church has become more like a Christian-entertaining center where believers gather. There is almost a wall that formidably separates the church and the public. People are afraid to go to church because they feel like they are too sinful, or that they do not belong in a group of public worshippers who proclaim their faith out loud with hymns and prayers. This is often why non-believers refuse to go to church. “The church is full of hypocrites”, said one anonymous person who was interviewed by America Preachers. In a generation where excitement and fun is prioritized, the church plays a huge role in advancing itself to the public and helping them understand God’s love – one that fulfills void and emptiness. The church has to be intentional in its search for lost sheep to bring them back to their shepherd.

            Secondly, the Islam religion is increasing rapidly. According to statistics from the U.N., Islam is now the world’s second largest religion after Christianity. U.N. statistics state that the annual growth rate of Islam is around 6.40% compared to Christianity’s 1.46% during the same time period. Also according to these statistics, one in five people on the planet are Muslim, either by birth or geographical reference (TDI). For a couple of months straight, the al-Quran was the number one downloaded app on the App Store for smartphones. It is time for the church to respond in a more aggressive way through church growth and reproduction. The church must multiply to appeal to the needs of people who are wandering around seeking the truth.

            Through active childbirth and persecution of Christians, the population of Muslims has significantly increased. According to Islam’s rules and teachings, every newborn child in a Muslim family is considered a Muslim. If the child is to forfeit his belief in Islam, his parents must abandon him and he is no longer treated as their children. In countries such as Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan, people are forced to convert to Islam so that they do not get killed or tortured. The Apostle Paul says in Romans 12 that the church as the Body of Christ is meant to function in a way which believers can seek spiritual growth and comfort together. If there are no churches, or at least a group of believers to encourage one another amidst the persecution, how are Christians suppose to stay firm in their faith? With countries in the Middle East being the main target of Christian persecution, the church must no longer stay content within the walls of a building. Through methods such as prayers and donations, believers must actively engage in this spiritual warfare. The church must identify where spiritual needs are at its highest, and then do its best to reproduce and offer assistance.

            Last but not least, it is the church’s duty to reproduce! Before Jesus ascended into heaven, He gave the well-known Great Commission in Matthew 28:19-20, saying, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age”. Christ, being graceful, does not command believers to do this alone. Jesus promised His followers in Acts 1:8 that the Holy Spirit will grant them power to evangelize to the whole world. With all of commandments and promises, the church has an absolute responsibility to make disciples from all nation, races, tribes and tongues. As it was prophesied in Revelations 4, there will be a day where people from all nations bow down before the throne of God. The church has to be intentional in leading the effort to bring the world to Christ.

            The book of Acts provides a very good example of how the early church grew from twelve apostles of Jesus to a church with hundred thousand members. The gospel is extended to the Gentiles, from Jerusalem to Rome. With the election of leaders in the church, the apostles were able to focus on their ministry, giving their attention to prayer and ministry of the Word (Acts 6:4). It is seen clearly in Acts that the church functions as a unit to expand and produce a daughter church in other places that contains high amount of spiritual need. The modern day church is not much different from the church in Acts and it is definitely the church’s duty to follow the example of early church growth.

            As the day of the Lord approaches, Christians must no longer stay comfortable within the walls of the church, having fellowship among one another without deep concern for people outside of the church. It is time for believers to unite and gather their power, so that the unreached can be reached, and the lost can be found. May the effort that is put into this work stomp and shake hell’s door. The church must reproduce, so that by the day Jesus comes, they may be praised as the good and faithful servants (Matthew 25:21).

交托

明天就是美国人的 Thanksgiving Festival。这个节日就像华人的团圆饭，家庭成员从世界各地都会回来一起团聚。很明显地由于我不庆祝这节日，我的家也在距离这里 30小时航程的马来西亚，所以当美国人都纷纷回家时我则留在学校。平时热闹的学校环境忽然安静下来，给了笔者一些空间在这外面下着微雪的夜晚反思。

有人说我在这里读神学还真幸福。比起在马来西亚的任何一间神学院读，慕迪神学院提供学生装有冷气的房间、学生餐厅每一餐也是吃到饱的那种。冲凉房有热水、洗衣和烘衣都是用机器、高级的运动体育馆，设施方面还真的是应有尽有。同时也不忘记满有丰富资源的图书馆和顶级的教授，美好的学习环境和许多服务和实习的机会。

“你好幸福，那里的生活真的是太爽了！” 我承认在这里生活真的过得很好，但事情也不能单看表面；其实来美国读书并非一些人想象的那么完美。除了美金比马币大三成之外，还要跨文化地来到一个没什么华人的国家深造。另外，比起在台湾、中国或新加坡等的国家读书，基于一些因素（飞机票来回需要 RM5000 左右，航程30小时，抵达后还要消耗几天来适应时差等等）在这里就算有假期，有时也不能回家。就以我自己本身来打个比方，2014年8月14号离家，下一次回家是 2015年8月4日，中间有两三个星期的假期都回不了家。

但我丝毫不埋怨！反而相信上帝在这个时间把我带来这里不是一个巧合，绝对有祂最美好的安排。虽然现在自己可能看不见原因，但是神一定正在透过我身边的人事物带给我祝福。弟兄姐妹，你是否正处于不快乐的环境？你是否正在想上帝为什么让这些事发生？

身为基督的身体，教会应该彼此鼓励和扶助，基督徒更当以主动的心态去关心别人。罗马书 8:28  “我们晓得万事都互相效力，叫爱神的人得益处，就是按他旨意被召的人。” 与其为明天忧虑，与其靠自己无谓的挣扎想要去让事情按着自己的意思发生，不如把笔交给神吧！我们很容易在困境中失去信心，但很多时候你需要做的只不过是退后，停下并把笔交给上帝，对祂说：“主，我相信你！接下来的日子任凭您引领！” 但愿你我在百般试炼中互相帮助，以致蒙塑造且更能以信心去爱神和爱人。眼前的困境并非终点，而是引导我们引向神美好祝福的其中一个停点。创造宇宙万物，掌管世上一切，满有能力与权柄的上帝竟愿意引导我们，你我又还有什么原因拒接呢？

That Sunday Morning

I wouldn’t lie though. I did not intentionally write this essay for my blog. It is part of my assignment for my College Writing class. Some of you might have known my story or read something similar before already but since this one is rather well written and polished, I’m sharing it here! Enjoy!

                              That Sunday Morning

The ringing of my alarm woke me up then I cleaned up and prepared to go to church. I rushed down the stairs, grabbed two pieces of bread, and walked inside the car. My parents were already inside the car, reading the papers.

“What’s taking you so long? We’re late,” Dad muttered as he lifted the brake and switched the gears of the car. I kept quiet. He grumbled as he tried to speed up through the heavy rain on that morning. Big raindrops on the car window blurred our view while puddles on the road stopped the car from accelerating further. The absence of winter season in Malaysia is typically replaced by higher frequency of rain when it’s near to the year-end.

When we arrived at church, I saw a man in a black suit. He was greeted by some of the church leaders as they welcomed him and led him to the main sanctuary. I didn’t recognize this guy and had never seen him at our church. I assumed that he must be the preacher for that morning. I was still exhausted from playing online game with friends the previous night, so I decided to not think so much about it and walked up the stairs as I greeted some church people along the way.

The liturgist announced the start of the church service. It was just like any typical Sunday worship. We sang hymns and read bible passages. I noticed that the man I saw earlier was sitting in the front row. After the sermon passage was read, our pastor went up and spoke through the microphone.

“It is indeed to our delight and privilege to have Reverend Joel Siew with us today as our speaker. Reverend Siew graduated with a Master of Divinity from Trinity Theological School, Sibu, and went on to serve in churches in Australia and New Zealand. He travels regularly around the world and has been to countries such as Argentina, the United States and the United Kingdom to share the gospel. Let us give him a round of applause as we welcome him on stage!” The man rose from the front row and walked up the stage as the congregation showed their appreciation. Apparently some people had heard of him.

In his message, he included his trademark song, the “Zero song.” He sang it in Chinese, but the message of the song is expressed in an analogy that everything we have in this world - such as fame, wealth, and reputation - is temporary and carries zero value. No matter what you do to zero – add, minus, multiply, or divide - it is still zero. Adding the number 1 in front of many zeros gives the whole digits of number an actual value. And that number “1” is and must be God.

Reverend Siew then presented statistics about the Christian religion in recent years. It was rather shocking to see the rapid growth of Islam and how it is taking over Christianity as the number one religion in the world. I acknowledge that Muslims have that unmatched passion that Christians don't possess to give all in to bring people into their religion. Reverend Siew also pointed out that more and more Christians are being converted to Muslims. We need more people in the fight.

“In recent years, we have faced a great struggle. We are very short handed on the number of pastors in European countries. There are simply not enough of them.”  The moment he spoke these words, a vision appeared in my mind. I saw myself standing on a platform, preaching to the people below. The picture disappeared as soon as I saw it. I was at a loss for words and momentarily stunned.

As soon as I got home, I called my youth pastor and also texted my church pastor about what happened. “Continue to pray, Paul. Seek God for His confirmation and may the Lord reveal His will to you.” The first thing that came to my mind is the realization that choosing this path means sacrificing my dreams. I have always had a passion for programming and software writing, I also had the idea that I could make a lot of money with this job, especially in this technology-age.

Our house door was slammed shut by the strong wind as dad walked in with his briefcase. I knew what was coming if I told him about my experience, but either way I’ll have to tell him sooner or later. I approached him and told him everything, with a serious tone noting that I was taking this path into consideration. Dad did not interrupt and sat down at the couch opposite of me as he listened in. An awkward moment of silence filled the room as soon as I finished.

“Son, you’re too young for that.” Told you it was coming. Being the head of the family, I knew he has always had high hopes for me. Compared to my siblings, I am really blessed because my dad had already become a Christian when I was born. He spent the most time with me, gave the best he could and invested most in me. To him, going into full time ministry as a pastor just doesn’t seem the best way of living life. Both of my parents wanted me to go to a secular college, work for a couple of years, then consider responding to God’s calling. I couldn’t even make a decision, so I just continued to pray and waited patiently.

A few months later, I had a unique experience with a pastor who teaches at one of the top theological schools in Malaysia. It was during a three-day conference, where he shared on Colossians 1:28, speaking about the proclaiming Christ to the world. His sermon reminded of what I heard on that particular Sunday morning, that worldly possessions are all temporary and only with God things are made to have eternal value. I stayed back after the first night and asked him, “Pastor, how can I be sure of God’s will?” His answer is best summarized in this way, “It has to be both subjective and objective. God will first place a strong passion for what He has called you to into your heart, then affirm that calling through people around you.”

I went back to my room and thought about it. I realize that my passion for Christ cannot be delayed and I have to go into full-time ministry right now, right after I finish high school. I am desperate to dedicate my life for the works of the Gospel and expansion of God’s kingdom. Strong passion? Check. I quieted my heart and looked back at how things were going the past few months. I realized that God seems to have slowly worked His way in my parent’s heart, that they seem more willing to accept and support me on this path. As for the affirmation of God’s calling through people around me? Semi-check? I felt like God had already given me enough proof. Hence, without informing my parents on the decision, on the third night, I responded to God’s calling. I walked up front and committed myself to Him before the cross and before everyone who attended the seminar.

A few nights later, my parents called me in for a discussion. They felt like it was about time for us to discuss on my future. I didn’t have much appetite for dinner. As the clock showed five-minutes to nine, I felt intensely overwhelmed by fear. What if my parents insisted on stopping me? There was no way I could go to college without their support. I thought of all kind of solution. Perhaps I could try applying for a study loan. Worse come to worse, I would just have to force myself to survive in a secular school for four years. I told myself that all of the endurance would pay off when I get my Master of Divinity’s degree in maybe, seven years later?

“Hey mom? Are you in?” I asked as I knocked on their door nervously. That moment, I felt like even the best cardio-measuring device in the world could not comprehend the measurement of my heartbeat. “Yes dear, please enter.” I opened the door and walked in. It was as if my heart was carrying a forty-pound weight. The only thing I could hear was the buzzing of the ceiling lights, the tense atmosphere made worse by the silence. I pulled a chair and sat across them. We glanced at each other for a while. The suspense and pressure literally killed me. Finally, my dad spoke. “So, which Bible school are you looking to apply for?”

As I look back at how God has led me through this path and brought me here to Moody Bible Institute, I am reminded that God’s provision is more than sufficient. The challenges and obstacles I am facing now may seem rough, but my Father knows my limits, and He will never let me bear a cross that is too heavy for me. Today’s sufferings are to prepare me for tomorrow’s blessings. Just keep in mind to focus, work hard and trust God’s perfect time and plan. That Sunday morning, my life was redefined.

Biblical view of Love and Relationship

NOTE: I do not own any part of this article. The original article is in Chinese, available at http://www.douban.com/note/81816801/ This is just an English translation of the original.

1. Do not awaken love

     First, this might sound traditional, but it is true. An enduring truth, that is do not awaken love, until it so desires. Song of Solomon 2:7, "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Many people today insist, as long as I have feelings, I'll go after that person! Who cares, do it before he or she's taken. Be careful for you have to be responsible to the person that you won his/her heart! This is not how the bible views relationship. The Bible wants you to be silent, to wait, to not awaken love until it so desires. If it is from God, there will be a day where that person so desires. Otherwise, God might also be protecting you from hurt and pain, from wasting your time, because there are many more important things in life to do.

2. First prepare yourself to be a good partner
     This is for us to first properly manage ourselves, be responsible to our own duties, then only do we have the rights to talk about relationship. Galatians 6:5, "for each one should carry their own load." Manage yourself properly, then only will you be able to manage a relationship, manage marriage! Imagine a day where someone looks to you and say, "you are altogether beautiful, my darling, there is no flaw in you." (Song of Solomon 4:7)

How do I accomplish this? These are four suggestions:
a) Train yourself the ability to be on your own
     Can you be left on your own? Or does it feel lonely and weird? Anytime when you're free you look for someone to help kill the time. You're afraid to be on your own, you dislike to be left alone because you feel empty, bored, and need someone to talk to. Nowadays with the advancement of the internet, this problem is greatly solved. However, what I'm saying here is the ability to be silent, to meditate and think, to get closer to God. Can you enjoy such time? Practice this ability - enjoy the silence, enjoy yourself, enjoy meditation, enjoy God! In a marriage if either side is too dependent, it brings a lot of pressure to the marriage. In conclusion, you cannot expect someone else to fill your void or emptiness.

b) Have a clear understanding on the goals of your life
     Do you have a clear picture of how your life is going to paint out? A clear direction and goal? The purpose of marriage is for two people to help and assist one another, throughout the course of life, to work hard together in accomplishing the task and targets of life that have been given by God. Therefore, "help and assist one another throughout the course of life", "work hard together in accomplishing the tasks", becomes the primary purpose of marriage. Even though this is a biblical teaching, but in general it is close to what the society teaches us in terms of common sense. This shows that God's invisible qualities have clearly been seen and shown in the heart of humans! Since this is the purpose of marriage, and relationship is the preparation for marriage, therefore before you begin a relationship with someone, you should ask yourself, "What are the goals of my life? Which one of them is suitable to be with me forever through my whole life?"

Because of the aforementioned reasons, if you don't even know what to do with your life, it seems it's unsuitable for you to begin or be in a relationship.

     If marriage is to walk through the course of life together, then we really have to evaluate ourselves, what is it that I value most in life? And does he/she fit in as someone who is able to share this direction and goal with me? If we cannot share what we value most in life with that one person who is closest to us, isn't that just sad? Hence this is why the Bible says "do not be yoked with non believers". If religion is something that you value a lot in your life, and the unique views on life that are brought out by Christianity are what you really treasure, do you want your partner to be unable to share that passion with you?

     Those who are truly smart should know that, before the strong fireworks of love are lit up, to reject carefully so that you do not hurt yourself or bring pain to others. Furthermore, if the person that you like has a different view on life or have different goals, even if he or she is a Christian, I'm afraid to say that you and I should consider giving up before it's too late.

c) Practice a stable personality

     In a man-woman relationship, if any one of them has a stable personality, it is a blessing to both sides. Having a mature character and stable emotions directly affects whether the marriage is going to turn out successful or not. Thus, evaluate yourself, are you a stable and mature person? Or is it that you talk about one thing today then think about another tomorrow? Made a decision today but the next day you're deeply motivated to do something else?

James 1:8, "That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."

Stable refers to three aspects - stable in thought, stable in emotions, stable in relationships, all of these are closely related. If you are unable to control your thoughts and stay consistent, your emotions will be affected and provoked, next your relationship is affected! Correct thinking can direct your emotions and stable emotions can produce a long-lasting relationship. And all of these requires practice. The practice is to live a self-disciplined life, hence stability requires discipline. In fact, self-discipline is an action of love, including loving yourself and loving others. Because anyone who has ever truly given their love, their actions would be disciplined. When you truly love a person, you will not want that person to be hurt, you will control your actions to cultivate the life and emotions of the other person, up to the highest level!

d. Learning the ability to communicate

If you want your marriage to grow and improve in relationship, you have to talk and communicate. 85% of marriage problems are caused by lack of communication or misunderstanding from bad communication. According to the research conducted by Newsweek magazine, an average couple spend 28 minutes per week having one-on-one time to talk. In contrast, 47 hours are spent sitting in front of the computer. No wonder we don't communicate, because we don't have the time to talk to one another. Communication is an important skill. You have to learn through practice that, men and women have different communications need. After her birth, a typical girl develop language skills and maturity much faster than boys of the same age, thus becoming their lifetime skill. The fact is that women talk more than men. An average man speaks about 20,000 words per day whereas a woman speaks 30,000 words per day! When a man comes home at five after his work, the words that he has not said are about 50, but as a wife, she is just about to get started! This causes great disappointment and pressure in marriage, therefore, you have to learn to communicate. If you really want to learn the skills of communication, there is one thing you need to master and you have basically completed two-third of the process. This thing is also known as [listening]! It is typically hard for people to listen, why i stat so? It's because our natural and first reaction is to try to make people understand us, to let them know how hardworking, how tough, how successful, how neglected we feel. The second reaction of humans is trying to educate people and let others know what is wrong with the situation, what is the answer to it, how should they react to the situation and so on.

     However, all of this are no aid to communication. Communication requires one to let go of himself, to be interested in someone else and having that desire to understand him or her more. Truth to be said, this is the true action of love. The biggest problem of marriage today is bad communication between husbands and wives which leads to losing affection to one another. Couples are no longer attracted to each other, they don't see the need to love, and there is no purpose in going on further. If the children are still young, usually one of them will have the mindset of holding on until the kids grow up then leaving their partner. Despite that, this is not a dead end. The key is in communication, in learning how to develop a good environment to talk and discuss, it is crucial and important. Because of this, learning the ability to communicate is very important. Learning this can make you a huge blessing to those around you!

3. Seek for God's guidance

     If you worship and respect the authority of God in your life, before you start or enter a love relationship, you should have already prayed a lot and submitted the person to God's hand. As parents, I seek that since young you will pray for your children's blessing on their marriage, because this a blessed thing to do! Most of the time there is a dilemma in our hearts, we tend to say seek God above all but at the same time we have already made decisions in our hearts.

     The bible teaches us in Proverbs 3:6, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." In everything you do, seek God before all and He will guide you to walk the correct path.

     The problem is that most Christians ask for a supernatural sound. Seeking God's guidance, is not requesting for a supernatural sign or witness, rather to have a heart that truly trust God. Give the pen to Him and let Him write your love story! Be honest in facing the principles that God teaches us,

     Do we have the same vision? The same values and views of life? Can we truly accept one another? Do we have the same plan for our marriage? Are there any factors that causes it unsuitable for both of us to go into marriage? E.g. violence, lust, homosexual, mental health, etc.

     Many people ignore these signs that tell them the person is not suitable for marriage, but seek for supernatural signs. Thus, to seek God's guidance is to live according to the teachings of the Bible, therefore it also requires the next principle:

4. Accepting the coverage of the church

     According to Harvard University's statistics, the divorce rate among married couples in America is 3:1. But if the couple held their wedding ceremony in a church, the divorce rate is 15:1. They also researched that if the couple attends church activity regularly, pray and read the bible together, the divorce rate becomes 1105:1! With the protection, coverage, teachings, guidance and advices of the church, the result of the relationship and marriage becomes so much different!

     Hebrews 13:17,  "Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you."

     Therefore, before you engage in a relationship, you should let your leaders and church elders know, also receiving their teaching, thus providing accountability and coverage. Let me tell you, this is too important for your life. The most important decision in life is to accept Christ as their personal Savior. Your attitude towards Jesus decides where you reside eternally. The second biggest decision is to marry or not? If you decide to marry, then who will be that partner? If you made the correct choice in choosing your partner, your marriage will be as blessed as if you are in heaven. But if you made the wrong choice, your marriage will be as bad as suffering in hell. There are too many examples around us who made the wrong choice, out of rush. Broken families and broken hearts, this type of marriage is all around us.

     In conclusion, if you desire to build a wonderful marriage, or if you want to help your kids, your cousins in marriage and relationship, bring them to church!